Raising Problem-Solvers
It is so tempting to think about our preschool-aged children as our “babies.” When we do that, we remove opportunities for them to problem-solve and become more independent. Our big kids can do SO many things if we let them!
The first tip in creating problem-solvers is to resist the urge to be a snow-plow: instead of pushing all of life’s obstacles out of the way, allow them to feel frustration and find solutions. We learn by being challenged.
For instance, if your little is working on a puzzle and becomes frustrated because a piece won’t fit the way it should, resist just doing it for them. Let them try to figure it out on their own, even if they exhibit frustration. Then, calmly show how you would do it and model your thinking: “Hmmm…it doesn’t seem to want to go there! I wonder what would happen if I turned it another way?” Then you can show how you can flip the piece and it fits. Finally, and this is the important step, take the piece out and let your child figure correctly place it themselves. Now that you’ve shown them how to think through the problem and that the piece does in fact fit, you can ask them, “I wonder if it would fit if you turned it?”
The goal is to give your little room to make mistakes and messes; that’s how we learn. It’s hard to give up the idea that they’re babies, but the goal of parenting is always to guide them toward eventual independence as they are ready.
Things they can do at school with little or no help:
Put their toys away
Put their jackets and backpacks on their hooks
Keep track of their materials (crayons, writing journal, white boards)
Carry their own tray
Carry their own backpack, jacket, lunchbox
Wash their hands
Put on/pull off/zip their jacket
Clear their tray and table after lunch or snack
Get their own drink
Pick a center to play in when another one is full (at home, this might look like finding something else to play when a sibling can’t play with them)
Painting on a paper without painting the whole table
Cleaning up messes they make
Give that little a chance for independence, and you might just discover that your baby is now a big kid!
If you’d like to read more, here’s an article from the American Academy of Pediatrics.
Here is a ReadyRosie playlist with 4 quick videos of things you can try at home as well!